Hello all - I'm writing this entry from my Official Best Mate's house down in Gloucester. Tomorrow I leave for Australia for two weeks and I CAN. NOT. WAIT. I will, of course, be providing a full account of all my exploits down under (*snigger*) upon my return.

 

In order to amuse myself today and stop myself checking that my passport is still in my bag an obsessive amount of times, me and Sarah (aforementioned Official Best Mate) took ourselves off to Alton Towers, whereupon we went on relatively new ride 'Rita, Queen of Speed'. Let me tell you now children, it is LEGENDARY. Because we went in the middle of the week we walked on to pretty much everything straight away and Rita demanded multiple visits. Which, naturally, led to many jokes and puns about riding and going down on Rita. *sigh* I should be ashamed but it's too funny.

 

It is quite an experience going from 0 - 100mph in 2.5 seconds, and when I say experience, I mean it's something which fills me with pure unadulterated fear. I don't know why going that fast should scare me like it did. Maybe I have tachophobia. I know for a fact I have acrophobia. No matter how fast Rita goes, it does not compare to how acutely aware of my own mortality I was while on the cable cars in Alton Towers. Forget Oblivion, I hereby swear never to go on those bad lads ever again. *shudder*

 

Well, I feel that's enough for tonight - being thrown about all day and various speeds and angles has inexplicably made me very tired.  Good night all, I shall catch up with you all when I get back*.

 

 

*Provided I don't get spotted and cast in Neighbours. Which, let's face it, is entirely likely.

So, as I wrote on my previous entry, I resigned from my job. I then made an executive decision not to finish working my notice. They say a change is as good as a rest, and my God, have I had a change. I swtiched from my previous job of account manager to the field of medical science.

 

And when I say medical science, what I actually mean is I work in a factory that makes medicine bottles.

 

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's not a career, blah blah blah, you've got a degree, fishcakes. Thing is, I just needed something to tie me over until I go away and so what better than a bit of factory work? It's physical which makes a nice change, and I don't have to think about it, which makes an ever better change. I also don't have to use a phone AT ALL, which actually makes it one of the best jobs I've ever had.

 

Preparations for my trip to Australia are coming along nicely. I have a list now of things that need to be done, which makes me feel organised, even if I haven't done any of them yet. I keep seeing the tourist advert for Australia on tv and getting far too excited. But not in THAT way.

 

Well, maybe just a little bit.

 

However, I do have a slight situation which needs to be overcome. I don't really like alcohol. I mean I drink it, but it has to be heavily disguised. I only drink vodka, which can easily be put with fruit juice or lemonade so you can't taste it. And while I'm sure I can get vodka over in Ausralia, it's a bit of a girly drink.

 

Though obviously, will not be telling that to any Russians in the immediate future.

 

So I'm (unsuccessfully) trying to make myself like other things at the moment. Lager I can sort of drink but it makes me pull this slightly disgusted face, which is not a good look. So I've either got to find something else to drink, or keep ploughing on with beer for the next four weeks until I just learn to love it.

 

I've had a bit of Guiness before, which I actually didn't hate, but I couldn't decide whether that's just because I'd just been drinking Reef and so couldn't taste it properly (yeah, alright, I drink Reef - I'm gay, it's allowed). So I think I'm going to have to go out one night and have a pint of Guiness. See if I can drink that.

 

I'll let you know how I get on.

Last week I watched a film called Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I don't think I can tell you just how fantastic this film is. I can not stop watching it. It's sort of similar to Rocky Horror, but at the same time not like it at all. The whole film is out and out genius from start to finish. If you only ever watch one more film, it should be Hedwig.

 

In other news, I resigned from my job last week and I'm going to Australia at the beginning of May.

 

But that's nothing compared to just how fantastic Hedwig is.

 

 

 

 

So, interesting thing happened to me this morning - I caught fire. I was lighting a hob on the oven, and as the gas lit, so too did my dressing gown.  I waved my arm up and down and the flames went out, which was fine. Then I noticed my back was on fire. Thankfully the words 'Stop. Drop. Roll.' came in to my head and after thrashing about on the floor for a few moments I managed to put them all out.

 

My housemate thinks that this is the funniest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Even though I came away from the incident unscathed - I find it slightly less amusing.

 

I skived work this morning (I was planning to do this even before I set myself alight, that was pretty much the nail in the coffin). Just couldn't face it. I'm seriously considering just dropping everything and wandering the Earth. Leave me a message if you think I should go. I am also welcoming inspired ways I could get myself fired or quit.

 

Sorry about the lack of writing since Christmas.

 

Bareback Mountain is severely overrated. That's not to say it's particularly bad, but it's not nearly as good as people have been making out. I personally thought Jarhead was much better.

 

 

Hello children.

 

Just wanted to share a couple of things with you.

 

Firstly, I have just found Spider-man reviewing crayons, and I think it's brilliant.

 

Secondly, time waster of the week would be this site. If your place of work is anything like mine - this week there is absolutely nothing to do. Which is great, for about half an hour. Then you get bored. Here's your solution. Recommended by former housemate Ryan and his girlfriend Jenny (hello to you both), they pointed me towards a game called Grow Cube. Instructions are kept to a minimum - so don't look at me for hints. Just play about with it - you'll get there in the end. There are three Grow Cube games to do and a special mini one for Christmas.

 

However, once you've finished all of those, you've then got to try the Tontie game on the same site. An incredibly simple concept (hit the monsters with a hammer as and when they appear) the game starts off easily enough and gets very hard very quickly. It is also highly addictive. Which is why I like it so much.

 

And that's about it for now, haven't really been up to much else, been too busy playing Tontie.

 

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I'll see you in the new year, when I'll be talking a lot about Brokeback Mountain. Yes.

 

You know you can still get those tiny cans of Coke? Ever noticed how there's more in than you think there is? You open it, have about three gulps and think that's going to be the end of it. 

 

Ten minutes later you suddenly realise you are still drinking that same can of Coke. You fool! You've been lulled into a false sense of security by it's cuteness.

 

I was pointing this out to my long suffering housemate Steven who was quick to liken this phenomenon to a Tardis. Looks small on the outisde, but inside it's a lot bigger than you'd think it would be.

 

Because of this, I am now referring to tiny cans of Coke as Tardis Coke.

 

I suggest you do the same.

 

By the way - Tardis Coke can also be used to prove my theory that anything mini tastes better than it's normal sized counterpart. Yes.

Further to my earlier entry, I went to see Franz Ferdinand last night.

 

Now, it is absolutely no secret that I fancy Alex Kapronos, lead singer of Franz. I freely admit to it whenever the opportunity presents itself.

 

And in the middle of this truly amazing concert, singing my heart out, a thought wanders across my mind.

 

I'm standing there in a crowd of God knows how many people, staring up at one of my idols. And it's weird. This guy is mere feet away from me and has no idea who I am or the effect he has on me.

 

Doesn't that make you think?

 

I'm not trying to be particularly profound or deep, I just find it faintly bizarre. You can affect people you don't even know without realising it. I'm not even convinced you have to be famous to do it.

 

Alex smiled at me last night during the concert. Try and dissuade me all you like that he was smling at the guy next to me or whatever, but I know what happened.

 

Thing is, I had an absolutely hideous day at work today and at the end of it all, I just thought of Alex smiling down at me, and that cheered me up.

 

It's cool.

 

Enough.

In a few moments time I shall be leaving for an afternoon of drinking. This is to enhance this evening's occasion which is me going to see Franz Ferdinand at the Metro Radio arena in Newcastle.

 

I just thought I'd come and wish you all a very happy Franz Ferdinand Day :o)

 

 

So, we all know 24 is amazing.

 

And if you don't - sort it out.

 

Meanwhile, I have made a discovery. 

 

There is one thing better than 24 - and that is watching a series with someone who has never seen it before.

 

Last winter, in January, my ex-housemate Ryan (and, it turns out, avid reader of my blog) was getting increasingly excited about the fact that the new series of 24 was soon going to be airing on Sky One. He was, then, faintly appalled to learn that I not seen any 24. EVER. It was just one of those things where I'd missed the first series (I was kinda absent that day) so I didn't bother to watch it when it came on again. You know what it's like.

 

I forget exactly how it happened, but somehow the challenge was banded about that I couldn't watch all three previous seasons before the fourth one started. Gladly forgetting the fact I had exams going on at the time I sat down to get on with some hardcore 24 watching and, I'm pleased to say, I got through them all in time to see what Mr Bauer got up to on the fourth worst day of his life.

 

Anyway, the point is, Ryan took great delight in wandering through the living room occasionally, seeing where I was up to and laughing when I was completely thrown by one of the many plot twists.

 

I am now experiencing a similar delight since I have taken it upon myself to educate Steven in the ways of 24. Watching him trying to second guess what is coming, formulating theories and generally being way off base is so entertaining I can't really put it into words. You must try it.

 

By the way Ryan, I remain firm in my belief that Nina is a complete legend. I love her.

 

It is also with great joy that I can point you all in this direction towards a teaser for series 5. Don't worry, it contains absolutely no spoilers (unless you haven't seen the end of series 4) just lots of explosions.

 

Oh my God, it looks awesome.

 

Didn't think you could get milk from a penguin? Think again...